Follow 100

As of some time yesterday evening/last night, I have 100 followers!  Wow!  I am just so excited!  I saw them all when I came to catch up on blogs before  bed.  I thought it was neat when I got 10 followers, then 20, & so on.  I never thought I would ever reach the triple digits.  That wasn't my goal at all in having a blog.  Back in May when I started this blog, I thought it would be a place where I could come & say anything I wanted.  I wouldn't have to censor anything like I do in the real world, especially when it came to my 'abnormal' food/weight thoughts & behaviors.

I want you all to know how much I love that I have any followers at all & I absolutely love when I see that I have new comments!  I adore reading the comments you leave for me.  And I love leaving comments on the blogs I read, I wish I could leave one on every post I read, but that would take forever!  But please know, I do read them even when I don't have the chance to leave a comment.

I try to follow everyone who follows me (& then some, I'm sure, lol).  If I am not following you, it's because I couldn't find a link to your blog.  Usually when I get new followers, I go to my follower page & click the icon.  A lot of people don't have their blog linked in the Google Friend Connect profile thingy.  If you want to add it on there, check out this link, that is how I did mine (in step 1, I had to sign into Google FC/Followers on the blog if I wasn't already & in step 2, I clicked 'options' then 'site settings').  If you are following me & I am not following you, let me know/leave me a link.

Also, I added a "reactions" thingy to the bottom of my posts, just in case some of you read a post & want to let me know but you don't have time or anything to say to leave a comment. :)

I really, really can't tell you how excited I am to have reached 100!  It really does surprise me that I've acquired so many.  And not just any followers, but super awesome, sweet ones!  Again, thank you all so much for following/commenting me, I appreciate it so much & I adore getting to read & comment on all of your blogs!  Have a fantastic day/night! <3

Foto Friday 17

I didn't think I would be able to get in my Foto Friday post until Saturday.  But here I am, squeaking in with it just before midnight, yay!  Thank you all for your lovely comments lately & for reading my blog period!  Still hoping to hit 100 soon & still waiting to see if you all have any more suggestions or questions for me to answer/discuss in my lil diddy blog about that stuff.  Also trying to think of what some stuff on my own.

I hope you are all having a fabulous week & weekend!  I didn't really take any pictures this week, not sure why, guess I've been doing other stuff & not grabbing pics of stuff.  But I made sure to take a few today with my phone (which is actually where a lot of my FF pics come from) so I would have something to share.

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These are yummy!  Been eating them all day.  140 calories (0g fat) in 20.  Other than these though all I had was black beans & rice (220 cal in a cup) for dinner.

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 Strawberry milk!  My indulgence for the day, been craving it for a couple days.  I drank 3/4 of the bottle.

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 Hello!  In magnets.  But on a table not sticking to a fridge or anything utilizing the magnetic property.

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 Flinstones on Boomerang!  Yesterday (I think it was) Google had changed their pic to a Flinstone one because it was the 50th anniversary.  The episode I watched tonight was one where Fred thought that Barney was a klepto.

NinetySixIt

I have 96 followers!  Like, that's just totally wow! to me.  I remember when I started this blog, I thought how awesome it would be to even get a few & now I am at 96.  I was stuck at 90 for a long while, then 91 for a bit, then the past few days I have gotten some more.  It's awesome & I love you all for following me even though I may be boring at times or not post as much as I wish I did.  Only 4 away from 100!  I mentioned before I might consider changing my profile pic to or posting a real pic if I got to 100.  So maybe I should really start thinking about that!

I was thinking, if I keep gaining & do get 100, maybe I could decide to post a pic when I do the confessional/answer blog post thingy I mentioned near the end of my last post.  Still waiting to see if I get more questions/suggestions too.  Thanks to Almost.Skinny & Mich for their input!

I did lose the other .6 lb to get back to my goal but suckily gained it right back this morning.  And I am pretty sure I am in for a gain come morning.  Stupid effin carbs!  That's what has gotten me the last couple days.  It usually is what screws me.  If not carbs, than sugary/sweets.  I'm craving fountain Sprite (or a similar substitute) so I think maybe I will have that for lunch tomorrow & then have something for dinner (small).  Not sure about breakfast, I usually try to eat something small (& sometimes breakfast & lunch are combined because I get out of bed/get around so late) with my pills (vitamin B complex & caffeine).

Not sure what else I got going on tomorrow.  Maybe more job stuff most likely, putting in/getting apps.  Gotta take the lil one to/from school.  New Grey's Anatomy!  (<~ Jesse Williams, plays Dr. Jackson Avery. He's my fave new person ever on that show! ;) Not too sad at all to hear he's supposed to be getting shirtless sometime this season.)  Be great if I motivated or forced myself to do some sort of exercise, I'm very not into that at all these days.  Boo.

Hope you are all having a wonderful week & if not, I hope it becomes wonderful!  I know things may be or seem rough, rather it be something beyond your control or something you feel you've messed up (such as failing at a plan/eating/etc), but you can start over at any moment!  You can start over each day, or even later in the day.  It's never too late to begin again!  I know that all sounds corny & super-optimistic, but it is true & I wish I reminded myself more.  I'm really good at being optimistic for others (as some of you may notice in my comments I leave or some stuff I post on here to you readers), not always so much for myself!

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Thank you all for compliments on my pictures!  It really means a lot to me!  I get them from people in my 'real life' too sometimes & I am always so surprised & excited when anyone says anything positive about them.  I am so happy that you all seem to enjoy Foto Friday, I enjoy doing them! <3

Jordan: I agree about the hoarders & the "love" for pets.  It's hard to believe someone appreciates/loves pets when they allow them to live that way (such as in their own excrement) & it is to the point where they are getting lost & dying/being killed.

Tracy: Glad ya like the new look!  I think it's more fallsy now.  I won't show up at your door step with the Intervention people, I promise. ;) I always wonder if the people who are the target on that show are suspicious since they agree to be apart of a show about addiction.  Surely some of them have seen it before? lol.

Mich: I have no idea how people let their home get like that. Especially the ones who are still in denial that they have a problem when their house is threatened with being condemned. I also don't know why people go on shows (reality tv, talk shows, whatever) & act a fool or air their dirty laundry, etc. Or when they take someone on tv to tell them a secret (I'm cheating on you, you may not be my baby daddy, I'm a prostitute, I'm really a man, etc). Kinda insensitive & inconsiderate way of going about it.

Intervene

So I watched the new episode of Hoarders tonight.  And every time I watch that show I am just amazed at how awful people let their houses get.  It isn't so bad when they just have tons of stuff everywhere (although all that clutter would annoy me), but most of them have trash/etc as well.  Tonight, one of the ladies on there was a huge cat lover.  They found a total of 36 cats in her home, 13 of which were dead & some of those were kittens.  They lifted up a bed & found a mama cat & her new (like they figured not even a day old) babies (just in time I thought, to save them).  This lady had cat urine/feces, trash, stuff just everywhere & her house was going to be condemned by the city if it wasn't cleaned up.  She didn't pass her inspection & had to live in a shelter for 6 weeks while her sons finished it up so she could move back in.

After Hoarders, I watched 2 episodes of Intervention.  The first one was about a guy who broke his back & was prescribed morphine & became addicted.  He also gave away $600,000 to internet scams (you know, the emails you get saying you won some lottery or someone left you money, they are almost always in another country).  Morphine is some great stuff.  I'm not a druggie or anything (the most I've done is smoke weed back in the day), but I had some through IV during labor (before the pushing part) when I had my son & it was lovely.  The 2nd episode broke my heart a little.  It was this 23 year old girl who was suspended from school at 13 for bringing in alcohol & took 8 hits of LSD at age 14.  She straightened out for a while when she was 19 or 20 & got married & had a baby.  But she went back downhill after she found out her husband was cheating on her.  She was shooting up Oxycontin.  Her mom (& stepdad) had gotten custody of her little boy.  She wasn't allowed visitations unless she passed 2 drug tests in a row (which she never did before going into rehab).

I can't imagine choosing drugs over my own kid.  I can't imagine choosing anything over him.  I know I can't completely understand it since I'm not in her shoes.  And it wasn't exactly like she wanted to be choosing drugs over him, she just couldn't help herself.  I just can't imagine being that out of control.  I know that disordered eating habits consume my thoughts & behaviors a great deal of time.  But I know I would make sure they didn't win over my son.  I have.  When I was pregnant, I didn't restrict or binge or purge at all.  Sure, I thought about how I was going to losing weight afterwards, but that's normal for most mothers.  And since I've had him, I never let myself get so weak or sick-feeling from fasting/restriction/etc that I can't take care of him.  That's a big part of why I don't do much fasting.  I don't want to worry about being able to care for him.  And my body isn't great at fasting because I don't do a lot of it.  That's fine with me.

Weight-wise, eh.  I was holding steady at my previous goal (the one I met for the 3rd time) (or up to lb below it) up to Friday when I was right at it.  But then Saturday, I gained .4 & another .8 Sunday.  But Monday morning I dropped the .8 back off & as of an hour ago, I had only gained .2 for the day, so if I can lose .6 while I sleep/by morning weigh in, I will be back at my goal & no resetting it *yet again*.

Anyways... I should be asleep.  Insomnia totally took me over (not unusual) last night & I could not fall asleep!  And then when I did around 5-6am, I kept waking up from having bad dreams, so I only had not even 2 hours of interrupted, crappy sleep.  I didn't nap today.  Well, I did half-sleep for maybe 15 minutes in the afternoon.  But I should be super sleepy & I am only a little.  Ridiculous.  I am hoping once I do just lay still for 5 minutes, I will magically be out.

I was thinking, I'm going to do a confessional/question blog soon.  Kinda like I did before.  I just want to do a blog that will maybe help you all understand me, who I am, etc.  You can ask me questions or suggest things you might want to know about (things I like or don't, what I think about something) & it can deal with anything (eating, weight, body image, life in general, education/school days, childhood, stuff mentioned in my blog, whatever).  I will answer any questions/suggestions I get & prolly throw in anything random I think to add.  You can email me, formspring me, comment here or send me a DM or tweet on twitter.  Whatever works best/easiest for ya.  Unless this is all a stupid idea...

I hope you all had a lovely start to your week & an awesome rest of it ahead! <3

Foto Friday 16

Hello!  It's Foto Friday!  I hope you all had a wonderful week & a fantastic weekend ahead!  Last night I changed my blog appearance to reflect a bit of a more fall/autumn feel because I was bored.

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Lake Michigan, a couple weeks ago when it was a windy evening.

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 2 pink flowers.  I posted a similar pic a couple weeks ago, the flower from that pic is the top one in this picture.

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 Yep, it's autumn & the leaves are changing & falling.

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 The sky today.  It's a grey day & kinda windy out.