Tuesday, June 28, 2011


So, a week ago, my car got a more thorough look.  It's indeed a problem with the motor, & there was no more specific cause sought because any of the possible causes would be on the expensive side to fix & the car is not worth putting the money into.  I would have had the car for 6 years come October & the car is 17 years old.  It also had a few other minor problems that it's had for a while but weren't important enough to bother fixing (a/c doesn't work, heat blower doesn't blow super well).  But it was a nice little car while it lasted.  It was my first & only car thus far.

So I've spent the past week looking at cars, online, ads, along the road, & in lots.  Some potentials, many which were snapped up quickly.  A week ago I went in to see what I could get for a small car loan & today I went ahead & went in with the last couple papers & they prepped the papers & stuff so I could go ahead & have it ready & waiting for when I do find an acceptable car.  I'm not too picky, I'd like one that's cheap but decent.  Good gas mileage, prefer 4 doors, prefer an automatic (as I've driven a stick only a small handful of times, but would consider it if other things such as cost & that were good), needs some sort of radio, & everything in working order.

Next week probably my car will be taking a trip to the scrap/junkyards to see how much I can get out of it.  I don't expect too much, since it's smaller (less metal/weight).  And I've been working a little bit more lately.  So that's good, since I need the money more than ever since I will now have a payment (albeit small but I only work part-time & have all my other bills) on the loan every month.

So that's what I've been doing.  Working & looking for a vehicle (like it's my 2nd part time job, lol).  And arranging ways to get to & from work, which has worked out pretty well so far.  I have tomorrow off, as well as Friday-Sunday.  A friend/former roommate of mine is coming to visit this weekend.  And I'm hoping another friend will visit too, but I don't know what she's up to.

I hope you are all doing well!  I read & keep up on blogs it just seems I fall behind on commenting sometimes because I am often laying in a position that is not comfortable to type when I am online.  It's the same reason I don't post as often as I think to/would like.  Have a great week & happy hump day tomorrow! <3

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Wow, what an UNwonderful weekend I had. :(  Saturday, on my way to work, my car died.  I wasn't too far from work (& I drive nearly a half hour one way) when it just suddenly started to decelerate on it's own, so I pulled over to the side of the highway.  There was smoke coming out from under the hood.  Lots.  The first thought was maybe it overheated, but that doesn't seem to be the case now.  My son's uncle says my motor is junk.  My son's dad is going to look at it tomorrow & see what he can figure out.  But I don't expect the diagnosis to really change.

Which is just great.  I can't afford nor is it even worth it to get a new motor (which I could get free labor to do it prolly but still).  And since I can't afford that, I obviously can't afford another car.  I have little options here.  My work is about 25 miles away, so I need a vehicle to make money & need money to have a vehicle, but I don't make enough money to get one.  It's a vicious, asshole of a cycle.

That, sadly, was not even the beginning of my not nice weekend.  My son's dad traveled out of state for the weekend to hang out with a girl (who will undoubtedly be his girlfriend in like the next week or so, especially since he's going back next weekend).  This might not seem so horrible, except that I never handle him getting into relationships/dating very well emotionally.  I can't figure out why.  We get along, that's never been an issue.  But we haven't actually dated in years or even come close to maybe thinking about it in a long, long, long while.  And I'm not in love with him.  And I'm fine that we're not together... until he is dating or considering dating someone else.  It pisses me off.  I am an idiot in this area of my life, I can not explain why I feel the way I feel, it makes no sense to me.  I hate it.

So I spent most of Sunday, in bed.  My son wasn't home until late afternoon (he had been with family the night before because I worked & then stayed the night because of the whole car situation), so I had little reason to get up.  I did manage to get up & get dressed & walk a few blocks to the gas station with him to buy toilet paper (& an Icee & a donut unfortunately).

I would have loved to spend most of today in bed, but I had to go work an 8 hour shift.  And since lunch was bought for me on my way to work by my ride, I had Burger King (but in some defense, I only had a Kids' Meal).  And at work, a can of Coke.  I don't want to starve/restrict, but that's what I tend to do when I feel down.  I don't have much appetite & it can be hard to make myself eat.  I know I need to because I don't want my metabolism to crash & I don't want to be all ill/weak feeling in case my son needs me.

What a craptastic post, lol.  It is though.  I think I will end it now.  And pray, that by some miracle, there is some kind of good news for my car & it's not as bad as it has seemed to be (though I am preparing to hear that it actually is as bad as thought or maybe worse somehow).  I also pray a bit, that an even bigger miracle will happen & some kind of financial windfall will come my way so that I don't even need to worry about the car situation so much.

Good night (or morning or afternoon) my darling readers.  I hope your weekend went much better than mine & your week is starting off swell! <3

Saturday, June 18, 2011


I wish I had some pics for Foto Friday, but I don't really have many.  I am spending my Friday shopping (mostly browsing/window shopping/wish I had a limitless credit card I didn't have to pay off) so perhaps I will see some interesting or different or random things or something so that I will have some for next week.

Christina Aguilera looked better this week on 'The Voice', I thought.  Much better with the hair pulled back & the make up (while still dark, that wasn't the problem, it was something about how it was contoured or something).  Adam is still my favorite coach, lol.  Doubt that will change. ;)

Some linkage...
Wii Fit Plus Bundle with Balance Board on sale this week in weekly ad & online for $69 @ Target

<3 Shout Outs (to all the lovely comment-leavers) (which I am way behind on, so there are quite a few): Tracy (x2), Kitty (x3), Mich (x3), CE, Zette, Run, Fed Up, & parisienne.love.  And now for some replies to some of those comments...
***Kitty: I have no idea how anyone could let their child gain such an incredible amount of weight either.  I have a 5 year old & if he even started to get heavy (& I don't mean just a lil chubby or something as I want him to be healthy & have a healthy attitude about his body & eating), I would start having him eat better.  Also, I like the quote you left...  "It doesn't matter how long it takes you, as long as you do not stop."  I think that's important to remember, because stopping will get you less far than starting again & again (& again & again sometimes, lol).
***Tracy: Sorry to hear about your dad & the rough time you are having.  I don't mind you coming here & venting a bit, feel free.  I hope it helps at least a tiny bit to get it out & feel free to take over the comment section with some ranting/venting if it will!
***Fed Up: Yes, every little bit does help!  I try to at least cut myself slack on the fact that when I work, I am at least getting some sort of tiny bit of exercise, since I am standing or walking or even climbing ladders a tad for a few hours or so.
***parisienne.love: Target has the Wii Fit Plus Bundle with Balance Board on sale this week (in their weekly ad as well as online) for $69.  Which is a good price, I'm just broke, lol.  I do have some more fun options for workout dvds, like I have Zumba & something else similar (Yoga Booty Ballet maybe?, for some reason I think I have that) & I like Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, part of my problem is getting motivated to start, lol.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Who wants to keep gaining weight?  Apparently, I do.  I don't but I still am.  Up to 118.6 lbs this morning.  My low for the year is 103.something & I maintained around 105-107 for a while.  So today I am going to try yet again to start doing better.  I was going to try to stick to liquids but I decided I would just try to keep my intake in check & shoot for just getting the scale down.  Shouldn't be too hard after yesterday.  Yesterday I didn't eat a whole lot earlier in the day (I had an iced coffee & yogurt parfait from McD's for breakfast) but in the evening I had too much.  I had a cookie dough flurry around 4ish.  Then a couple hours later I have rootbeer, steak on the grill, garlic bread, steamed cauliflower/broccoli for dinner.  And that wouldn't have been awful but then I had a bunch of peanut m&ms.  And then late at night a can of soda & a slice of pizza.  And yesterday was preceded by other awful eating days.  So, like I said, as long as I don't eat a bunch today, I ought to be able to lose.  So far I had a slice of pizza (the last one so there's no more to tempt me either).

My problem is I am lazy with exercise.  I don't like it usually.  I like it if it's fun, like going out dancing or playing tennis with a friend, or walking to somewhere (having a destination is usually more motivating for me, unless it's just walking along/around the beach).  I don't have many opportunities to do this type of stuff.  And I can't motivate myself to just exercise for the sake of exercising usually.

I would much rather talk myself into doing the exercise thing & eating healthy instead of being lazy & restricting myself more than I should & all that.  But aside from being lazy about exercise, I like too many non-healthy foods, lol.  Maybe I need a buddy or something to demotivate me from eating bad choices & motivating me to make better ones about food/exercise, lol.

Anyways, on a completely different subject, I am going to vent a bit, lol.  I just started watching 'The Voice' last week (from the beginning though & I'm now caught up).  I am not a big reality show watcher & I'm not into American Idol or America's Got Talent, so it's not about the whole being a singing competition show.  I actually decided to check it out because I super <3 Adam Levine & he's one of the coaches.  Anyways, my vent is about Christina Aguilera.  During the times when the coaches comment on performance & stuff, she annoys me quite a bit because she interrupts people (especially the other coaches) way too often.  When Adam told her to shut up this last week (because she had interrupted yet again) & Blake Shelton thanked him, I couldn't agree more.

And, I hated her hair & make up this week.  She had way too much hair & the make up was just weirdly done.  She kind of reminded me of Miss Piggy (& not because she's a bit heavier than she used to be, which she is) because of her eyes (from the way her make up was done) & all the blonde hair.  I'm not hating on her (okay, obviously I am a little).  I think she does a fine job coaching & when she's with her team & her performances & stuff, it's just all her interrupting & some of the comments she makes during this time.  End rant.

Also about that show, this last week, when Lily from Team Christina was performing Big Girls Don't Cry, I thought she kind of looked like Miley Cyrus (whom I don't necessarily care about one way or the other personally).

On a related note, does anyone watch The Voice or So You Think You Can Dance?  There are some awesome competitors on both shows, some great talent.  I think if I could choose to have the talent to be on either show, it would actually be SYTYCD.  I would love to be a super awesome dancer, especially if I could have the ability to be awesome at multiple genres of dance.

I hope you are all having a wonderful start to the week!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Foto Friday 30

 "Required for entry" reads the fine print.  Yes, even on a sandy dune at the beach it is important to wear protection apparently (thankfully).  Provided by Planned Parenthood.  And no, this is most definitely not mine.

UV Blue (blue raspberry vodka) & Sprite, yum!

 Banana smoothie!

 Sunset over Lake Michigan.

 Binge.  Spread out over like 2-3 hours, & definitely stuffed me nonetheless.  The 2nd sundae (the hot fudge one) was not part of the plan but McD's messed up & made the wrong one so they gave me both.  Also pictured: caramel sundae, chicken nuggets, cherry turnover, raspberry bismark, & 100 Grand candy bar.  And sadly, that wasn't all I ate that day, just the early afternoon. :/

It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillowpet!  I just like the big ole smile & purple color of this.  Maybe if it were way cheaper I'd have brought her home.