Wednesday, April 27, 2011


In 2.5 weeks, it will be one year since I posted my post on this blog!  Wow!  Came across some great blogs & gained some wonderful followers in that time.  I love this community so much, really.  I just wish I could send virtual hugs out to everyone when they are having a hard day, for whatever reason & jump up & down with excitement with them on good days, lol.  On top of closing in on one year, my next post (I believe) will be my 100th!

I wish I could say with that that I am doing super awesome food/weight wise, but alas, that is not true.  I haven't weighed in for like a week & I'm not sure I want to (although really, of course, I'm dying to know).  For weeks I have been eating crap & last time I did weigh in I was at my highest for 2011.  Which wouldn't be awful if I just didn't care & didn't feel guilty about it & have all the other other weird/disordered food/weight related thoughts.  I wish I were just 'normal' (I so wonder what that's like or wish I remembered what it was like years & years ago when I was much, much younger) about food.  But I don't see that ever happening, even if I got to a point that I were happy with my body, I think it will always be in the back of my mind (as it is even when I am in a normalish cycle).

But I'm not depressed or anything about it.  Upset, yes.  Disappointed, yes.  Looking to be re-motivated, of course!

On the upside, my elliptical is now unburied.  And there is plenty of room in my livingroom now that I should have room to do a workout video in there.  Plus I have my bicycle back over at my place (from being stored during winter) & the weather is decent (some days) to be outside for ride or walks & such.  I just need to be motivated to get to it!  Do it!!!  Exercise & eat less crappy foods.

 Can I just say yay for spring arriving?  Yay!  Now, if it were stay warm (or warmish even) & not rain for days on end, we'd be all set.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

***Special Shout Outs to Recent Comment-Leavers: Peridot, Tracy, & Mich.  Thank you so much for leaving me something, I love coming on here & finding any comment, short or long, serious or fun, or whatever! <3

Currently listening to (at this very moment, at least): "The Quest" by Bryn Christopher.  Which I heard on Grey's Anatomy season 4 finale (I think, it might have been on there another time, I don't recall).

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Let me just start by stating that I know ipecac syrup is super bad for you.  I would not recommend anyone using it & I would never use it (again).  It was meant to be used to make people throw up when they ingested poison, but is no longer recommended to be used.  It used to be able to be found easily (in a drug store or aisle) but is a lot harder to come across now.  It can damage your heart tissue/cause heart problems, among other things.  Please do not ever use the stuff.

I first came across ipecac syrup at home.  It was in a first aid type of bag my mom had.  One night in high school, I had gone down to the track to run & afterwards decided I wanted some candy bars from the grocery store behind the track.  I didn't have money on me so I made the jaunt home & then back to get them.  I ate them (don't remember how many but it was prolly like 3-4) & took the ipecac syrup.  In less than a half hour my stomach felt horrible & I got sick.  I used ipecac 2 or 3 more times after that (not within the same week or month even though) but then I stumbled across actual information (Beyond what was on the bottle) online while doing research in school & once I saw the heart tissue damage possibility, decided not to use it again.  I briefly reconsidered this decision when I was living in Florida, after high school, but thankfully stuck with not doing so.

The second time I used it, which I do remember was again with candy bars, I couldn't make it upstairs to the bathroom to throw up & ran out the front door & vomited off the side of the porch.  Thank goodness there were no neighbors around (I was living in a complex of townhouses & the time so even though I was on an end one, there were 3 more attached to mine, along with 4 more building that made a circle).  I only used it when I was home alone & knew my mom wasn't on her way home, so that wasn't an issue.

The stuff worked like it was supposed to the few times I used it.  It made me feel absolutely awful-horrible-sick-to-my-stomach & it seemed like it got whatever (usually candy) I had binged on back out.  But like I said, based on the possible side effects alone, I would never recommend anyone use it & would surely discourage anyone who was considering using it (& have done so at least a couple times in comments on blogs).  PLEASE, PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THE STUFF!

I only share this because this is how I first got involved with Mia.  Before this point I had already done restricting & binges & stuff, but never purging.  And after my last ipecac use, it would be a couple years or so before I would (successfully anyway, not for lack of trying) purge again.  All future attempts after ipecec were purely on my own, with no assistance other than trying to gag myself to the point of puking.  I've already wrote a post about the first time I succeeded at doing that when I first started blogging almost a year ago.

Of course, I would never recommend anyone take up purging or any other sort of disordered eating habit, because even if you think you'll just do it for a little while to help with weight loss or to make you feel better in some way, that's usually not the case.  It becomes a part of you & takes over & it becomes harder & harder to turn back to before it started.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week thus far & rather it is or not, I hope the rest of the week looks up for you.  I'm so glad to have a place I can come to & talk about things like this that I can't (or rather won't) in the 'real world' outside of this blog. <3

Sunday, April 24, 2011


Borrowed this from TK's blog.  Feel free to read through & ask any questions if ya feel like it.  Have a great rest of the weekend & a Happy Easter (if you celebrate)! <3

Go through & cross off/strike through the ones you've done.

1. had sex
2. bought condoms
3. gotten pregnant
4. failed a class
5. kissed a boy
6. kissed a girl
7. used a little paper bag for lunch
8. had a job
9. slipped on ice
10. missed the school bus
11. left the house without my wallet/purse
12. bullied someone on the internet
13. sexted
14. had sex in public
15. played on a sports team
16. smoked weed
17. smoked cigarettes
18. smoked a cigar
19. drank alcohol
20. watched “The Breakfast Club”
21. been overweight
22 been underweight
23. had an eating disorder
24. been to a wedding
25. made fun of someone for being fat
26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight
27. watched tv for 5 hours straight
28. been late for work
29. been late for school
30. kissed someone in the rain
31. showered with someone else
32. failed my drivers test
33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes
34. been outside my home country
35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours
36. gotten my heart broken
37. had a credit card
38. been to a professional sports game
49. broken a bone
40. been unhappy about my weight
41. won a trophy
42. cut myself
43. had an STD
44. got engaged
45. been on a diet
46. tried out to be on a tv show
47. rode in a taxi
48. been to prom
49. played in a drinking game
50. stayed up for 24 hours or more
51. been to a concert
52. had a three-some
53. had a crush on someone of the same sex
54. been in a car accident
55. had braces
56. learned another language
57. killed an animal/bug
58. been at a yard sale
59. been to a japanese steakhouse
60. wore make up
61. talked to someone via webcam
62. lost my virginity before I was 16
63. had my wisdom teeth taken out
64. kissed someone a different race than myself
65. snuck out of the house
66. bought porn
67. had a virus on my computer
68. had oral sex
69. dyed my hair
70. gone skinny dipping
71. graduated from college
72. wore someone else’s clothes
73. voted in a presidential election
74. rode in an ambulance
75. rode in a helicopter
76. caught the stove on fire
77. got in a verbal fight
78. been on vacation
79. been on an airplane
80. been on a boat
81. had surgery.
82. kissed someone before I was 14.
83. beat a video game
84. found something valuable on the ground
85. made a survey
86. stalked someone on facebook/myspace
87. prank called someone
88. been to a library outside of school
89. spent over $100 shopping in one day
90. cut my hair and hated it
91. peed outside
92. went fishing
93. helped with charity
94. taken a pregnancy test.
95. been rejected by a crush
96. been suspended from school
97. broken a mirror
98. faked sick from school
99. owned a pet
100. been to six flags

Friday, April 15, 2011

Foto Friday 27

I know, 2 weeks in a row, wow, right?  Lol.  I <3 doing Foto Fridays!

First off though, special shout outs to my lovely comment-ers (is that a word? it is now!): Peridot, Mich (x2), Tracy (x2), & skinnybusiness.  Thank you so much for reading & leaving me something to read! <3  (And Tracy, thank you for the award, I will get to it soon, hopefully.)  (Mich, I didn't happen to look at the package for nutrition info on those Peeps, but a few websites say that there are 60 calories in each pack of 3, so 20 per chick.)

I hope you all had a great week & a fun weekend ahead!  And now onto the photos (fotos)...

Light pink Sharpie pen.

 Princess Celestia, My Little Pony.  Came in my McDonald's Happy Meal.  Totally thought of Mich when I got it. ;)

 Who doesn't want a soccer ball shaped potty?

 I liked the part about hugging the Earth. :)

I just think this doll is weird.  I mean, I guess it's better to have a doll that gives birth in a c-section style manner than the other option, but it just seems odd to me.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Foto Friday 26

I will do my special shout-outs/replies in my next post, along with an actual post.  I just wanted to get some pics up for Foto Friday, since I seem to rarely get to it these days.  Here are some random pics that I took with my phone in March...

 Banana smoothie!

 I just thought it seemed odd that Peeps of all things can be made sugar-free, lol.

 My birthday dinner (breakfast for dinner, rather).

 My pretty (& big) light up, green ring for St. Patty's.

 Shirt I saw at the mall.

 Strawberry smoothie!

What was SpongeBob up to?  Seriously.  (This is actually an umbrella handle.)

I hope you all had a wonderful week & have a fantastic weekend ahead! <3