Friday, July 30, 2010

Foto Friday 8

So this week's set of pictures are pretty much all food/drink related, this is your warning, lol.  Most of it isn't super tempting (like a bunch of junky food) though.  Hope all of you have had a great week & a fabulous weekend ahead! <3

I'm not sure why, but this amuses me.  Because when I head "dill weed" I think of name calling, not cooking/baking.

A variety of Nesquik.  I <3 the vanilla flavor, & strawberry, & (regular) chocolate.  I don't think I've tried banana yet, but I want to.  And I think double chocolate might be a bit much for me.  I don't drink regular milk (not a big fan) much, or even flavored milk (because of calories) often.

Sugar Donut Muffins.  I made these for the first time last weekend.  They are were quite yummy.  Tasted a lot like a donut, but a bit moister.  The top has sugar on it, which is hard to see in the photo.  Not sure on calories for these, but I figure they gotta be better than donuts, since they are baked & not fried, plus they are smaller.

Another banana sticker!

Sounds yummy!  Never tried them though, perhaps someday...

T-shirt I saw online.  No offense to Canada, I love Canada (& hats)!  Just thought it was a bit humorous.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Gray Skies

Before I get into any blogging, I want to take a minute & catch up on some replies to comments that have been left for me.

Liz, Lilah Lee, & Maria:  You're welcome, I'm glad you all liked your nominations for the Blogger Addict Award!

Eva: I've always been a picky eater, since I was a wee little one.  It has come in handy for sure when it comes to my disordered eating habits, because I naturally don't like a lot of things.  Too bad I didn't hate everything except what is really healthy though, that would be fabulous!  The junk food tends to be something I am less picky about unfortunately, it's mostly meal type dishes I don't care for.

Ava-Rose: It's bittersweet to hear Ben & Jerry is more available to you.  It is soooo goood, but of course also sooooo not good for dieting, etc.

The Crazy Rose: Thanks for the links, I will have to check them out.  Glad to hear Splenda is safe, because that is pretty much the only sweetener I buy/use.

SL: I thought Ben & Jerry's pints were expensive here (usually $3-4, some cheaper places or on sale only $2something), but $10 is def more insane!  I buy it rarely because it is more expensive compared to others & because it is high calorie.  That price tag would def keep me away from it even more!

Maria, AnaNae, & Eva: I agree that often other people who are either actually overweight, feel overweight, or whatever want to 'assist' others in feeling the same way or to feel better about their own habits so they push food onto them, rather they are consciously doing so or not.  Luckily, for the most part, I don't buy into/believe their 'compliments' or comments & ignore them (at least most of the time).

Lond3on: It was lovely chatting with you the other day!  It's always a nice surprise when people IM me or email me (or even comment here or Tweet/Formspring @ me, lol).  Hope you had a great run & your baby food diet continues to give you awesome results!

So, yeah, glad I caught up on those!  I don't have much else to blog about at the moment, my mind is blanking.  I've been eating kinda cruddy & still sticking around 110-111, but I guess it's better than going farther up.  I still haven't been motivated to exercise, like at all.  It's quite gray here today, I think it is clearing up a bit though, there are some peeks of blue now.  It's rather humid today too.

Sunday I went on my first motorcycle ride.  Really it was my 2nd.  The first one was on Easter this year, I rode on one with my son & his grandpa (my son had to be inbetween us because he's small) & we only went on a short ride around a few blocks.  Sunday, I went on a 75 minute ride.  And then a return 75 minute ride to get home (in the dark).  Growing up, my dad always had a motorcycle but I was scared to ride on them.  When I got older I just never thought about it much.  On Easter I agreed to ride on one because my lil man agreed to get on & someone needed to be behind him.  I thought I would be a lot more nervous Sunday, but I really wasn't.  My arms got a little bit of a workout because I tried to brace myself when the bike would slow down/stop so I wouldn't smush the driver.  But yeah, it was fun!

I hope you all are doing swell & if you have any extra motivation just laying around, please, feel free to send it my way! ;) <3

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Just wanted to say hello darling readers!

I had a free day yesterday & gained 1.2 lbs, but it was to be expected.  I had a family reunion back in my hometown so I ate there (not too much pigging out though, more 'normal') & had to stop my the drive in restaurant because their vanilla milkshake is my fave vanilla milkshake of anywhere, & they are only open in the warm months & I barely make it home these days.  So I had that, a burger & fries too.

I saw one of my cousins yesterday whom I haven't seen in almost 3.5 years because she just moved back in state a few months ago.  Within a couple minutes of seeing me she was grabbing under my ribs & around my belly area because I'm so 'little'.  I'm not really, but I am compared to her.  She's always been overweight & even though she has lost weight since I saw her last (which also happen to be a month after she had her 3rd child), she's still a bigger girl.  Not to be mean, because I love her to death.  And then later on this lady (not sure who she was, lol) was trying to give away a piece of cake she didn't want.  I deferred because I had already had a piece I shared with my lil man.  But her & my cousin agreed I could use some more (implying I need to fatten up or whatever).

I know it might sound like I'm delusional in saying they are wrong, but it's true.  There is still plenty of fat on my body to grab/pinch & I don't have any bones sticking out so it's not like I'm sickly looking in any way.  I think part of it is just because there are so many people in this country/society that are overweight, whether it be slightly or on an obesity level.  I never put much credit in people's comments like that.  Or saying I am little in general (because I mostly attribute being little having more to do with the fact that I am under 5').

And yay for all the commenting on my last blog (Foto Friday)!  I have some replies to some recent comments from that & others, but I will catch 'em up later, when I'm not hurrying to type this up.  Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend & getting ready to kick some goal/plan arse this week!  I know I need to since I've been more or less maintaining lately (with the exception of this morning's gain).  Love you all! <3

Friday, July 23, 2010

Foto Friday 7

The devil on sale last week.  Thankfully I wasn't tempted since it would melt long before I was able to put it away at home & I wasn't going to binge on it right after getting it.

The vitamin B complex pills I bought last week.  50% off too!  Not sure how well they all work, but I swear I am peeing more (which I read online that at least one of the vitamin B's can make you urinate more frequently) & as usual, it has made my urine bright yellow (which is normal).

Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla, Diet.  Tastes good.  I don't usually drink diet sodas, partly because a lot of them have some sort of weird taste & partly because of the aspartame in it.

Bright dark pink Gerber Daisies I bought at the grocery store yesterday, on sale for $1.99!

Close up of one of the Gerber Daisies.

I hope you are all having a lovely week/weekend to come!  I've noticed lately I've been getting less comments.  I wonder if less people are reading or just not commenting as much.  I know there have been days lately where I am catching up on all the blogs I follow & don't necessarily have time to comment as much as I'd like.  Happy Friday!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cloudy Lemon

Hello my lovely readers! I hope you are all having a terrific week! And if you are feeling down, please remember that you are an awesome person & you have a whole community here that you can turn to if you need encouragement, motivation, kind words, or want to vent.

I've been doing alright weight-wise. I've pretty much been maintaining & losing slowly. Today I am down to my lowest known weight of the year, 109.2, which was previously 109.4. It's definitely better than gaining! I've been eating a lot of crappy food. Let me rephrase that: A lot of the food I've been eating is crappy food. The quantity of food isn't the problem, it's the quality. I haven't been exercising either, except if I count the casual walk I took yesterday (that wasn't even all that long).

Saturday is going to be a free day for me. I have a family reunion. I know I won't gorge too much, as I am a picky eater (always have been since I was a toddler, which works well as truth or just an excuse) so there is always lots of things I don't like. But I also would like to go to this food place in my hometown later in the day to eat. I don't make it back there often & this place is only open in late spring through very early fall.

I've been using Twitter quite a bit lately, so if you have or get an account, you should go over & follow me!

And now some response stuff. Feel free to keep the comments/questions/etc coming, I love reading it all!

Formspring Question from Anonymous: I just think you're amazing :) I don't actually have a question. So I'll make one up... What is the one thing you've never done that you wish you could do?
Aww, thank you sooo so so much! As for something I've yet to do that I wish to... there are so many possible answers to that so I'll just name a few: skydiving, visit California & Chicago, traveling to Europe/Australia/other parts of the world, climbing the stairs of the Statue of Liberty, run a 5k, & the list could go on & on.

vanilla finnegan said... I kind of what to grab one of those ice-cream sandwich thingies from your freezer right now if you don't mind :)
If there were still any in the freezer, I would be happy to share! :)

v. said... Haha, thanks for that- I suppose that makes sense. Never heard of "food porn" before, that's an interesting concept! Might explore it a bit more when I get home :P
Someone used 'food porn' in a comment on my blog, I believe that was the first place I had heard it, but I've heard it some more place as well. There is even a website that The Crazy Rose recommended to me called Food Porn Daily. It has lots of pictures of delicious looking, attractively made food.  I also like This is Why You're Fat,though it is more of a turn off to food since the creations look & must be super high cal/fat.

The Crazy Rose said... Have you checked out Food Porn Daily? It's just pictures of prettily-prepared food. Weird, but good :)
I had not, but I have now! Thanks so much for the suggestion!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Blogger Addict Award

Ava-Rose nominated me for a Blogger Addict Award!  Aw, thanks for thinking of me sweetheart!

From what I understand, I list 5 things I love/like, 5 things I hate/dislike, & then nominate 5 fellow lovely bloggers for the award.

So here I go, using random whatever likes/dislikes come to my head to fill in the blanks for both categories & then of course, my nominees to pass the award along to.

  1. Traveling.  Anywhere really.  Not that I've been a great many places.  I've only left the country a few times & it's always been to Canada.  And I haven't been anywhere out west yet.  A couple of my favorite places I've been are New York City & Disney World (I want to live in Cinderella's Castle).  I want to travel all over the U.S. & overseas to places like Australia, Europe, & many more.
  2. Ice cream.  Sad but true.  I love the stuff.  Too much.  I don't buy it often because I have restraint issues with it, lol.  This includes milkshakes & other ice cream products as well.
  3. Storms.  I adore thunderstorms (as long as they don't get scary-violent-tornado), especially at night.
  4. Water.  Yeah, it's good to drink.  But I'm talking more about the kind you can watch or touch.  Like lakes, streams, rivers, oceans, etc.  I've always loved water.
  5. Being a parent.  It's the most rewarding thing in the world!  It can definitely be a hard job & monetarily it can get expensive, but raising a child & watching him grow & feeling his love & loving him is the most fantastic experience I have ever had.
  1. Unemployment.  Being out of school & having no job it wayyyy boring.  It super sucks being broke all the time too.
  2. Insomnia.  I've had sleeping issues, both falling asleep & staying asleep, since at least high school, if not longer.  It sucks.  Though I've kinda gotten used to it over the years & it seems normal to feel some level of tired most of the day.
  3. Mosquito bites.  Any bug bites/stings, etc really.  But it being summer here, mosquitoes tend to be what I deal with most.  So annoying.
  4. Super cold weather.  This is mainly winter time, when it gets really cold.  I can handle it being cold & even the snow (which I do love for Christmas) doesn't bother me.  But the super cold temps or wind chills & icy roads can suck it & suck it hard.
  5. Idiotic people.  This is pretty broad, including: moronic, stupidi, rude, annoying, etc people.  I understand we all have our moments, but for some people it seems to be a constant state of being & it annoys the hell out of me.


 "What do you think is the best way to lose weight?"
Honestly, eating healthy & exercise.  Obviously not the route I always go, but I believe it is the best way, not only because it is healthy but it seems that it is more consistent & more likely to stick long term.

"Do you ever feel like giving up, and just eating normally? also, do ED's come with depression, or is it just me?"
Not only do I feel that way sometimes, I do.  The thoughts/guilt about food & my body/weight are always there, rather they are prominent or in the background of my mind.  I don't think I am depressed or that ED's  come with depression, but I think that the 2 are often related in that one can cause or be a result of the other.  I can't really speak for everyone with an ED, but that's just what I think

"if you could, would you be a sea turtle or an eagle for a day?"
An eagle I think, so I could soar high above in sky.  Even though I love water & am a water sign.

"This might be a bit weird. :D At this very moment, I have an unbelievable binge urge so I'm googling food porn just to try to satisfy my hunger eslsewhere. So, can you tell me what do you binge on when you have this massive pig-out session? It'll help. :D"
It really depends on what I am craving and/or what is available.  It's usually junky stuff, like sugary things or greasy fast food.  Occasionally it's decent food though.  But I think most often my sweet tooth is what does me in.  Also, if you are looking for food porn, check out this site.  Most of the stuff I wouldn't dream of eating (because of the stuff used or the appearance) but it is interesting to see the various creations.

v. said... "My god that strawberry shortcake.. Why must you always post pictures of things that look good to eat? We're not meant to like eating! But you make it so hard! :P"
Sorry about that, lol.  I post pictures of food because I think about it so much & crave it more than I care too.  I try to keep my 'food porn' pics to stuff that isn't too awful, like no super greasy things or fat laden dishes.  I'd rather look at the food than eat it. :-P

Eva said... "Congratulations bella!  What have you been eating recently to achieve so awesomely? Hella exercise, too I suppose?"
Mostly I try not to eat too late in the day & not eat a ton.  If I am craving something, I try to eat it so that it doesn't turn into a binge later.  I wish I could say I exercised a ton, but I've been so unmotivated lately.  Which is too bad because I would prolly make better progress if I did.

To Tracy: you can come vent anytime you like, I enjoy reading comments of any kind & it's good that you have somewhere you can do that (which is why I have this blog anyways, lol).

If you have any other questions, any time, about me or something I post in a blog or whatever, feel free to ask.  If you ask in a comment, I will try to remember to address it in my next post.  Or you can email me if you'd like, if you want an answer that way or you want to ask something not in public/on here.  I'm also going to try to respond to some of my comments in later posts, such as I did a bit in this one.

Also, I think if I get to 100 followers, I may post some sort of pic of me.  Not sure if I'll ever have that many followers, but I am in the 50's now & I never thought I'd have a quarter of that!

I also added a few more quotes to my quotes page!

Also, if you are following me & I am not following you, please leave a comment with a link to your blog.  I know some people's blog don't show up in their mini profile (from Google Friend Connect or whatever, in the Followers section) when it is clicked.  Mine didn't & I had to go change a setting to have it show up.  Thanks!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Foto Friday 6

Hello all my darling readers!  It's Friday, which means pictures!  Also, I rehit my 110 goal on Wednesday morning when I weighed in at 109.4 (which is also my lowest known of the year).  Of course Wednesday also happened to be my free day to kick my metabolism in the arse.  But I only gained .6 Thursday morning putting me right at 110.  And then last night I ended up drinking a few alcoholic beverages & thought that would surely give me a gain this morning, but I maintained!  Yay!  So hopefully I am headed on to the next goal & no more repeats.

Yummy & low cal!  Graham crackers with whip cream, frozen.  Kind of like an ice cream sandwich but way less fat/calories.  These have about 83 each, but that was using regular Cool Whip, so it would be less if you used other kinds.  The graham crackers were 70 cals each plus 1 tablespoon of Cool Whip.

Yes, Christmas stuff.  The Christmas aisles were being set up on Wednesday in Hobby Lobby.

It's Happy Bunny!  I adore Happy Bunny & all the little sayings, lol.

Banana time!

Flowery bush.  So pretty, pink, blue, & purple.

I hope you all have had a good week & a wonderful weekend ahead!  Good luck with whatever goals and/or plans you are pursuing!  I love reading all of your blogs & the comments you leave me, they are greatly appreciated! <3

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Just thought I would make a quick post this morning after catching up on reading everyone else's.

I lost .8 lb this morning which surprised me!  I thought it was possible I'd gain, likely I'd maintain or lose a tiny amount.  Because I had macaroni noodles yesterday & usually very much of that stuff (not that I had a ton, but I assume any considerable amount of noodles or bread might be bad on that scale the following morning).  Plus I had a jr. roast beef sandwich from Arby's (which is only 200 calories actually) & 2 Reese's cups.  So it wasn't like I had a huge or small intake day.  And I managed to force out 2 miles on the elliptical.  I did take one of the last three Stacker 3's I had later in the evening because I was going to a fire & there was gonna be s'mores there.  But I only ended up having one thing of wine & 1/4 of a Hershey bar (which is like 55 cals).  I resisted a s'more, easily, thankfully.  Which was super good, even though it would have been only like 150-170 more cals, it was like 10:30p by then.  Not sure if the Stacker3 helped or not.  So it was a happy surprise on the scale this morning, which is always wonderful!

I've had no motivation for the elliptical lately.  The last few days I managed to do a mile maybe.  Sunday I did do 5 miles, but it was 1 mile at a time throughout the day.  And yesterday evening I did 2 miles.  I just completely lost the will to want to exercise (which isn't too unusual for me).

I'm excited because a couple of weeks ago or so, one of my long-time friends (like since elementary school) decided she & her husband might be moving back here from Florida.  It seemed pretty likely & I found out in the last few days, it was certain & they were supposed to leave yesterday.  The place they are staying/living is 2ish hours from me, but that's a huge improvement than being states away.  Yay!

Still fricken hot here (though I'm not really complaining because I prefer it over the wintery cold) & often humid.  Thank goodness for a/c!  You can still ask me questions for a near-future blog, I've gotten a few so far, which is awesome, but I wouldn't mind some more! ;)  Like I said, it can be about e.d. stuff or life or whatever randomness you might think of.  I've gotten some new followers/following on Twitter, which is awesome because it makes me want to use it more.  Hope all you lovely peeps out there are having a wonderful week thus far & if not, any moment is a good moment to start anew & begin again!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Ask Qs

Not sure if anyone will participate in this, but I thought I would put it out there by chance that someone might.  I am posting this blog in case anyone wants to ask me any question(s).  I will answer them unless I am uncomfortable doing so (such as if someone wanted to know my bank account number or something super personal or something).  I thought it might be a way for readers to get to know me a bit better.  But I'm not sure what ya'll might wanna know. ;)  Can be e.d./food/etc related or not.  And you can ask as many as you like.

I have a formspring on the right side of my blog.  I am also posting a widget to it in this blog.  You can use either to submit a question, or you can just post it as a comment on this blog.  You can also Tweet at me or email me.  Whichever way works best for you, if you have access to any of the methods or want to use a particular way that is more comfy for ya.   Later on, I will post a blog with any questions I do get & their answers.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Foto Friday 5

Smiley face sugar cookie from a gas station.

American flag on a light pole.

Fire burnin'.


Strawberry shortcake, yum!  Homemade biscuits & cut the strawberries myself, lol.  Now I just need to make my own whip cream, lol.

Hope you are all having a wonderful week & weekend ahead!  Good luck to everyone with whatever your plan or goals may be!  Sending cooling thoughts to those of you who are also dealing with heat/humidity like me.  And thin thoughts to everyone!

Monday, July 5, 2010


So, I hit my second goal on the last day of June.  Unfortunately since then I have gained 2.4 over it, so I decided to add another goal.  My third goal weight is now exactly the same as the second.  And all the other goal weights just moved a place (from second to third & so on).

I blame the weekend, & not just any weekend, but it being a holiday weekend (Independence Day/4th of July).  I hit the goal on June 29th, & was actually .2 below it.  I gained that .2 the next day though, but was still at my goal.  Then I gained .6 & then lost it over the next 2 days.  So on Friday, July 2nd, I was right at my goal.  Then came a weekend of fireside snacking & grilling & such festivities.  So over 3 days, I gained 2.4.

I'm not overly upset about it (surprisingly) because:
1) it was expected
2) it could have been worse
3) at least I didn't hit above the previous goal
Plus, it was the U.S.'s 234th birthday so really, there should have been even more food if you take into account all the years heading up to this point, lol.

Saturday night I never went to sleep.  I woke up Saturday around 8ish & was awake until Sunday around 5pm when I took like a 20 minute nap, then went to sleep 1am-ish.  I'm used to lacking sleep because of insomniatic issues I've had for years, but this one sucked because it caused me to have a panic attack around 8am Sunday (which I am convinced was mainly due to sleep deprivation) (& the panic attack wasn't all-out bad, just a lot of heavy-fast breathing & feeling super panicked), & then feeling on edge for hours after.  The short nap did help though & after last night's sleep, things seem back to normal, thankfully.

But the free-for-all food-fest is over!  It desperately needs to be, that is for sure.  I would love to re-hit the goal by the end of the week.  It's possible, I know, I just gotta get back on track.  From catching up on blogs, it seems there are quite a few others who had a food-filled weekend that was either begrudgingly accepted or successfully ignored.  I am sure I am not the only one who is headed 'back to the grind' on keeping the food away & shedding the weight.  Hugs to those of you who are in this boat or had any other difficulty recently.

So... good luck to everyone!  If you are doing well, keep it up!  If you have been doing badly (like me), right now (or any other moment) is a great time to start anew!  I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend, whether you were celebrating America's birthday or Canada Day or any other fun activities! <3

Friday, July 2, 2010

Foto Friday 4

Way up, overlooking a river with trees as far as one can see.

I have no idea what kind of flower this is.  But it was a pretty orangish peach color with a reddish middle.

A group of pretty pink lillies.

One pretty pink lily.

The inside of my McDonald's shake cup.  Artice orange.  Yummy!  So good, but so evil...

I hope all you lovelies had a successful week & are set to have a fan-tab-u-lous weekend!  To my U.S. readers, Happy Independence Day (weekend)! :)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Sharing FMLs

I just thought I would share some FMLs (f**k my life) that I came across a couple days ago, related to eating disorders.  Most of them are kinda sad (in that whatever it was that happened, happened) & I feel bad for the person who submitted it.  But the last one (& this may be a bit mean to say) is kinda funny.

  • Today, after nine months of trying to get my 75 pound son to gain some weight, I discovered why the food was disappearing and he wasn't gaining weight.  My daughter is bulimic. FML
  • Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML
  • Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
  • Today, I decided to eat at this new cafe near my apartment. When I sat down a super flamboyant waiter came up to me and asked for my order. I asked him what he recommended. He said "to be honest honey, you could go for the salad." I just got out of an eating disorders rehab and put on 30 pounds.  FML  
  • Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up before my Caribbean vacation. He informed me I am overweight for my height and should "eat better, exercise, and lose the excess weight." I just returned from rehab for bulimia a month ago. My vacation was a celebration of overcoming my eating disorder.  FML
  • Today, after four years of anorexia and lots of recovery, my parents took me out to dinner with my counselor and whole family to celebrate my progress. I ended up eating something that made me vomit everything I ate. My parents now think I am bulmic and are sending me back to counseling. FML  
  • Today, I told my mom I am bulimic and have been for a few years and that I need help. She responded by saying "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia." She then patted me on my head, smiled, and walked away. FML  
  • Today, I went over to the snack cabinet at my aunt's house. Excited for a snack cake, I noticed something odd on the handles. They knew I was coming over and locked it. FML