October Goals

I'm setting some goals for October & I'm gonna publish them here!

As of this morning, I am starting October at 141.2 pounds, which is  definitely too heavy for my less than 5' stature.  Along with setting a goal weight for the end of the month, I am setting some other goals, some of which are related to health/fitness & should help in reaching that goal weight, as well as some other unrelated things.

1. Goal Weight by the end of the month: 130lbs.  This would be a loss of 11.2 pounds.  Very realistic (I feel).  Not overwhelming, but enough to make a difference & be reachable.
2. I would like to get in 75 miles on my elliptical.  This is just under 2.5 miles a day.  Which means I need to average that, so I am going to try to do at least 3 or more each day I do get on, that way if I miss any days, I have some "in the bank".  I am going to try to be sure I have 25 miles in every 10 days, as that will also help me figure out how much I have banked (or what my deficit is).
3. Eat less junk!
4. Eat less in general.  By this, I mean that I want to try to avoid boredom eating or "hey that looks/sounds yummy so I am gonna eat it" eating, etc.  I will try to eat so that I do not get hungry & to keep my metabolism going throughout the day.
5. Cut down on caffeine.  Right now, I have a physical addiction to caffeine.  I get headaches if I do not have caffeine every day.  Eventually I would like to not be addicted to it, but for this month, I am just going to start the process of cutting down/monitoring my caffeine intake.  I started this once before over the summer but gave up after a couple weeks.
6. Go for 2-3 walks a week outside.  No minimum distance, just getting outside to move around & get some fresh air.
7. Drink more water!  This should be easy, since I barely drink any.  It's not that I don't like it, I just don't drink a lot of it most of the time.  I don't like that it makes me pee a lot, but I can deal with that, lol.  I'm not setting any minimum/goal numbers or anything here.  I think I just want to start incorporating it into my diet more.
8. Get entire house straightened.  There are a few rooms where things aren't put away properly, etc.  Some areas I just want organized/set up differently.
9. Get large picture frame put up in living room.  At the end of last year or early this year, I bought a large picture frame that holds 20/24 4x6 pictures to put up in my living room.  I have printed some of the pictures I want to put in it, but as of yet, none are actually in the frame & the frame itself still sets in the office/storage room.
10. Get a couple loads of wood for wood stove & get it stacked.  I have already called once, waiting to get a call back to arrange delivery.  I mainly heat my house with the wood stove in the winter, because it would cost a whole lot to even keep it semi-sorta-warm in here with the gas furnace.  Plus stacking the wood is good exercise.

So those are my goals!  Anyone else set any for the month/week/whatever?

Insomtrip

I can't sleep.  I'm tired, but not enough to fall asleep.  I should be, I was up early-ish for work after fall asleep late & waking throughout the night & worked a 9-day.  And I have to be up, ready & out the my door by 6:15a, which is 6 hours from now.  Boo sauce.

I've always had sleep issues, well, at least as far as I can remember, dating back to high school at least.  I either can't fall asleep and/or I wake up a lot.  When I wake up throughout the night (for no real reason), sometimes I can fall right back asleep after a few minutes & other times I am awake for hours.  Usually, I fall asleep shortly after waking.

My mind runs too much.  I think that's what it is, or at least part of it.  Sometimes during the day, my mind skips around topics, doesn't want to focus.  I think at night, it's trying to catch up.  Or sometimes it gets stuck on one topic & won't let it rest long enough for me to fall asleep.

Tonight that topic has been weight.  I've gained so much.  I weigh within a few pounds (at most) of what I did when I was pregnant.  I gained a normal amount of weight when I was pregnant (about 30 pounds), but obviously I shouldn't have that weight now.  I lost it after my child was born.  It's all (the majority) come back in the last year or two.

I am at least 23 pounds over weight (according to BMI).  I am nearly 30 pounds more than my normal, pre-pregnancy & after weight.  I am around 35 pounds over the weight I was at when I moved 6 years ago.  I am more than 50 pounds heavier than I was my freshman year of high school (granted, that was many years ago & I was a few inches shorter).  I am at least 42 pounds from where I would like to be.

And while I hate hate hate where I am at now, there seems to be nothing I can do about.  Well, it's not that I can't, it's really that I won't.  I keep trying to do it the "proper" way, by eating better, less junk, less quantity.  But I do well for a few days & then I fall down.  And forget about moving more/exercise.  I have even less motivation for that (often because I feel lazy and/or am tired/sleepy).

I've considered doing it "my old-fashioned" way, with lots of restriction & such.  But I don't think that I can (& I know I shouldn't even try to get myself to walk down that dark path).

I'm disappointed in myself.  Disappointed that I let my weight get this high.  Disappointed that I let it stay so high.  Disappointed that I am unable to be motivated enough to do anything about it, to get it to go back down.

I'm not depressed.  While this a whiney post complaining about how fat I am/have become, it is just something that bothers me, not something that keeps in a foul mood constantly.  But it does bother me... A LOT and OFTEN.  That alone should be enough to do something about it.  I know in the past, I have tried & failed repeatedly & then at some point I finally get the motivation & am able to do it.  But it has been a long, long, long time since my weight was this high (pregnancy not counted, obviously).  Maybe that's why it's so hard, because the road seems so long.

I am going to list a few reason why I need to lose weight...

1. I am actually overweight.
2. Most of my clothes don't fit me.
3. I do not want to accept my body the way it is (at this time).
4. I am uncomfortable with my weight, mentally & physically.
5. I am more self-conscious about my weight than I should be.

I could go on and on and on (and on and on), I'm sure.  But 5 is a good number, & those reasons seem pretty solid & are a good summary.

Random: Crickets drive me nuts.  All day & night I hear them.  I will be glad when the cooler weather sends them away to Fairy-Cricket-Land.  I am sad to see summer leave.  I like fall (but I do not like what comes after it... cold, icky weather).  Can we just have snow for about a week around Christmas?

Hope anyone who is out there reading this is doing wonderfully!  I am going to go attempt the whole sleep thing again.  Crossing my fingers!

Temptation Tuesday 2

This week's theme... tempting vacations!  This pictures tempt me to jump right in, take off, head in, etc.

Any pretty beach will do.

J'habite a Paris!  Ok, not really.  But I wouldn't mind if I did, at least for a short time (like a vacation perhaps!).  I remember very, very, very, very, very little, next-to-none francais.

Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today... New York City!  I've actually been once, nearly a decade ago.  I want to go back so much.  There is lots more to see (& see again).  I want to go out to the Statue of Liberty (I went to Battery Park my last day there, didn't have the time & it was far too windy for my liking to take the boat out) & climb the Empire State Building, & plenty more.

Disney World!  I've actually been here as well, a few times, but the last time would have been prolly about a decade ago as well.  I have been to Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, & Hollywood Studios (when it was still called Disney-MGM Studios).  I know there is plenty more to see here too, especially in Magic Kingdom, & especially since they added onto Fantasyland.

Greece.  I've always loved Greece, at least since I chose it as the country to do my 6th grade social studies project on.  So beautiful & so much history.

Vegas, baby!  Never been.  Think it would be fun to go!

Hawaii!  I love beaches!  Obviously, lol.  Luau outs & beaches & pretty scenery, warm weather, oh yes please!

Temptation Tuesday 1

Temptation Tuesday, a day to post tempting things.  I might not do this every week.  The category will change each time (though a category could be repeated, just with different "answers").

I thought for my very first Temptation Tuesday, I would post some pics of some tempting male celebs.  Here are a few of my faves (otherwise, I could go on for pages, lol), in no particular order.

 Adam Levine

Patrick Dempsey

Ian Harding

Jesse Williams

Ryan Gosling

Ryan Reynolds

Boo Blah

I feel... I don't know the word for it.  I'm not sick.  I feel blah, I guess.  Physically mostly.  I'm not depressed or in a bad mood or anything like that.  I just don't feel like doing much.  Like being lazy, except that physically I am actually a bit tired as well.  I shouldn't be, at least I shouldn't have been all day long.  I didn't work today, slept in until almost 7:30am (normal time for me to wake on days off, when I work, it's anywhere from an hour to 3 hours before that).  I laid down half asleep/resting for about 45 minutes this afternoon.  And I didn't do much of anything.

I'm sure it's partially because I don't eat better or drink enough water or sleep well at night (I wake up often throughout the night, sometimes have issues getting to sleep as well).  And I'm sure the extra weight doesn't help either.

I wish I could steal energy from my child.  He has so much of it, surely he doesn't need it all.  And I could get oh so much done!  That would be glorious.

I need to get off the couch soon, so I can move a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer & start another load with my work clothes into the washer.

What an exciting blog post this isn't, lol.

Sympa-thee

After work today, I had to pick up my son from his grandparents' house.  Among the chit chat, his grandma mentioned how she had recently gone clothes shopping for an event she has coming up.  It disappointed her that she not only had a hard time finding something she liked, but finding something that fit/looked the way she wanted it too.  She resolved that she needs to lose weight (not that she's obese or anything though, not at all).

I hear that, feel that pain, etc.  It's why I next to never buy clothes these days.  Most of what I have doesn't fit anymore or looks horrible or I feel icky in it or a combination of the aforementioned.  I don't buy new things because I feel like that is accepting it more than I already have.  I did buy some work pants from Goodwill so that I would have more than 1 pair that I could still wear to work.

I have got to find that motivation, it's somewhere in me.  I know it is.  It's come out before.  And I've felt in moments, for a day or so.  It just doesn't seem to stick.

Back In

I have internet at home again! It's been like 2 years. Since then, I've had to rely on my phone & 'borrowing' internet at other places. I hope to stick with blogging, should be easier now that I can do it from home, any day.

 I'm in horrible shape. Literally, lol. I weighed in this morning at 140 pounds. Which a lot on my not even 5 foot frame. This isn't a surprise to me; because although I have not been around the blogosphere so much, I have most definitely been around/on my scale.

 I'd like to lose weight, I'd like to do it as normally as possible. Eating better. More quality food, less quantity (at least of junky food). More movement. I'd like to steer away from severe restriction and/or purging. We shall see. I have weight goals set, but there are not dates for any of them. I would like to look at them like stepping stones that I am allowed to take my time with.

I am going to go weed thru my blog list.  Delete any that don't exist any longer, who haven't posted in some time, or those I don't have permission to view, etc.  I currently have 139, I expect I will have a great deal less by the time I am done since I haven't been around in so long, & I imagine many have gone or been gone, etc.

Is anyone still around that has me on their list? lol. Hope all is well!

EDIT: I finished the deletion round.  Down to 20 blogs. So many were just nonexistent.  I kept pretty much anyone who had posted in 2013.  Gone away with 119 blogs, wowsa.

Saturnail

I haven't posted in over a month. But I suppose that's not nearly as bad as some of the lengths between posts. I got a new computer the other day, yay! My previous one was kind of slow & couldn't be used without being plugged in really. I have a borrowed one, but that can't be used unplugged at all. I have been wanting a new laptop for quite a while & have been saving for a little more than a year. Now if I could just get internet at home... Nothing new to report on the weight front. I am wavering between the same few pounds, just under 140. Which might not sound horrible, except that I am so short. So I either need to lose weight or grow taller, lol. I am pretty sure the latter is not going to happen. I requested a few days off from work the first week of April, during my lil one's spring break. We are hoping to head a couple of hours away from us, which obviously won't be an extravagant vacation, but it will be a nice break from work & a chance to get away at least. I hope everyone is doing well. I also hope to have more to report soon. I would really like that report to be that I am losing weight & doing so in a healthy way. I tend to be unhealthy, either eating too much in general, eating to much junky food, or not eating enough. Ciao!

Sprak

I was down to about 134.7 yesterday, but this morning I was up to 136. I blame potatoes, lol. They tempted me into eating more of them. Damn it. I hate carbs in that I love them.

I was so happy to see replies to my post after being away so long. Thank you Tracy & Lu!

I am typing this blog post in Word, than transferring it to notepad on my computer, then I am going to transfer to my phone to copy it. I think this will make it a little easier to post.

I took the day off work. My son's school was cancelled because the back roads were bad (& some side roads in town), so I decided to take the day off also. I will just use some of my eto to make up for it financially. I usually just use eto & vacation time in addition to working instead of taking time off. I think I am going to use some of my vacation time during my spring break to take a trip somewhere. Not sure where yet. I thought about possibly taking my son to see the ocean (east coast), which would be about a half day road trip, depending on where we go. I also thought about going to Washington DC to see some sights (maybe in addition to the ocean), as I've been around the outskirts but never actually there & think it would be interesting. Any suggestions?

I don't have much else to say really, I just felt like posting again.

Sevmons

Wow, can't believe it has been almost 7 months since I last posted. That makes me a little sad. I would prolly post more if I had internet access at home, other than on my phone (which is what I am on now, so please excuse the typos and/or autocorrect mistakes). I wish I could say I have been super focused on being healthy or losing weight but considering I have done nothing but mainly gain weight from eating in excess and junk, that's sadly not the case. As of this morning I am at 135, which is my low for 2013 and in the normal range I have been at the last couple months. My normal weight before I had my son in 2005 was 114 and normal when I moved to this part of the state in July 2007 was 107. I am the highest I have been since starting this blog, though not the highest of my life (I don't think anyways, didn't have a scale for years). So... it looks like.I have got some work ahead of me!

If anyone needs a text email buddy, feel free to contact me...
(989) 372-0146 OR emryelle@gmail.com